Jon Lajoie - The Birthday Song

It's your birthday today (woohoo) What does that mean I guess I'll try to explain That many years ago on this day It was the first time your parents Saw your beautiful face (Oh, such a cute little baby) And nine months before that magical day Your dad probably took your mom out on a date And they were having a good time They were dancing and drinking wine (We're gonna live forever) And when they got home They were horny as hell And your dad threw your mom down on the bed And he tore her panties off And his wee-wee was hard as a rock (I'm so horny) And at this point your mom wanted To give your dad head But your dad also wanted to give Your mom head So they formed a sixty nine (sit on my face) And your mom came At least three times (oh, oh, oh) And then your dad was so excited To get inside your mom That he forgot to put a condom on And when he realized his mistake (o-oh) He had ejaculated and it was too late (You're not on the pill, are you?) And then your mom got pregnant And your dad started crying (wah) He wanted your mom to get an abortion (please!) But your mom really wanted a child (dammit!) And nine months later You were born And five months later Your parents got a divorce Happy birthday