Jon Lajoie - Listening to My Penis

I have to stop listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis I should be studying and working hard My future depends on this, this is bizarre Why am I standing in this noisy club Where people are "Hey, what the fuck" This doesn't make sense, I hate this place 12 dollar drinks and a shitty DJ Obnoxious douchebags and easy girls Oh yeah, that's why I'm here, the easy girls I can't believe that it has come to this Doing all this just to cum is ridiculous I know I sound sexist, but I'm a feminist But the problem is my dick is an idiot When it comes to arguments, he always wins Rationality can not compete with orgasms I lost my train of thought, this girl's so hot Oh here I go again, I have to stop Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis I hate this girl, why am I talking to her? She's a horrible person but my mind's a blur 'Cause she's wearing a skirt and a push-up bra God damn her in that push-up bra My mind keeps telling me to walk away "Jon, just go home and masturbate Don't waste your money and your time With this really dissing girl That you don't even like" But my dick is like "Hey! I'm here to stay! You're gonna do everything that I say! First get her drunk It will be easier. And if she wants to dance Then fucking dance with her" But I hate this music and I hate dancing And there's no way I can afford all these drinks "Hey! Do what you have to do to get me inside! You know very well you won't win this fight" So five minutes later I'm on the dance floor Dancing to Kesha and I hate that hoe And I hate myself and I hate my cock It's hard as a rock and I have to stop Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis Stumble out of the bar, it's 2 in the morning Dead on the inside but still horny So I try to get this girl back to her place But she says she's hungry so I have to wait Now I'm in a diner, it's almost 3 She's talking about her captive reality tv I really should just go home and go to sleep But the goddamn cleavage is staring right at me And I just wanna spend a little time in there Which reminds me of a flow by Voltaire Anything too stupid to be spoken is sung And I have been singing a lot since I have begun Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius ff I stopped listening to my penis So I'm back at her place 4 AM, finally play time begins All my hard work is about to pay off But all of a sudden there is a knock on her door She starts to freak out She tells me she thought her boyfriend was out of town He kicks the door down, I jump out the window I didn't even have the time to grab my clothes So I'm running like a motherfucker down the street Fully erect and still horny I finally give in, this has to stop So I hide in some bushes and I start to jerk off I'm almost done when I see flashing lights A squad car appears right out of the night I try to run and that's when I cum Surrounded by cops at the break of dawn See, this is what happens when you listen to your dick You become an irrational insane prick Now I'm sitting the cell, ashamed and naked How the fuck am I gonna explain this to my wife and kid? Listening to my penis Listening to my penis I swear I would be a genius if I stopped listening to my penis