Julien Baker, Torres - Tuesday

Left Georgia for Tennessee when I was eighteen Met a girl named Tuesday who shined her light on me She was five-foot-nine with a storm in her eyes And of all the shoulders on which she could've cried She picked mine, she picked mine Now I wish that I hadn't stepped down and lied When I acted like it was nothing to me And if I could only go back in time I'd rewrite our whole story Well, her mama caught wind that her daughter's friend Might be of the wrong persuasion Next thing I know, her mama's calling, telling her daughter Just the thought of it made her sick over the toilet Instead of backing me up, Tuesday knelt it right down Asked me to write her mother and say sorry for the confusion That of course there had been no sin And to emphasize how much I love Jesus, amen How I wish that I hadn't stepped down and lied When I acted like it was nothing to me 'Cause that night for the first time, I took a knife To the paper-thin skin on my arm Oh my Lord, oh my Christ, is this the end? I heard myself cry from the tile The darkness of eternal night started closing in And I thought surely no future exists Tuesday, now I hardly think of you But when I do, I only think of shame And girl, I tell you if I could do it again I sure as hell wouldn't do it the same No, I cannot believe that I stepped down and lied I should have told you I loved you And now I know that your shame was not mine And I am perfect in my Lord's eyes For a decade, I let you live in my head But with this exorcism, I put our story to bed And one more thing, if you ever hear this song Tell your mama she can go suck an egg