Julien Baker, Torres - Dirt

You were shouting through the screen door With my back turned towards you in the driveway I said, "What the hell you gotta scream at me for?" You said, "You aren't gonna listen any other way" Now I'm laid out on the sidewalk You're my first dial after last call Ringing you up just to shit-talk 'til I pass out If you ask how I've been doing, I won't lie More than half the time I'm only skating by Waiting for the ice to melt beneath me Why do I keep at it? Sometimes it makes me feel better Sometimes it makes me feel worse Used to think that it was magic Now I'm sure that it's a curse Spеnd your whole life getting clеan Just to wind up in the dirt Got a shortcut into paradise That's killing me, but I still gotta try to get there first You were swinging for the fences You were running over every cup Now you're stuck back digging ditches Still can't decide if you've run out of luck 'Cause it feels like winning tickets at the arcade Just to trade 'em in for stuff That you don't want, and you don't need But all that you can take never feels like enough 'Cause sometimes it makes you feel better Sometimes it makes you feel worse Used to think that it was magic, oh Now you're sure that it's a curse Spend your whole life getting clean Just to wind up in the dirt Got a shortcut into paradise That's killing me, but I still gotta try to get there first