Vic Mensa, SAINt JHN - 2HONEST

[00:00.65] Loneliness speaks through my smile [00:04.10] It sings the darkest lullaby [00:09.86] La, la-la-la, la-la, la [00:13.90] La, la-la-la, la-la, la [00:17.49] I called a 51-50 on myself [00:21.76] That's how you know I need help [00:24.08] I called a 51-50 on myself [00:27.77] That's how you know I need (Help) [00:32.03] Tears of a fallen soldier, rollin' down my face [00:34.42] One hand stickin' out of my grave [00:35.98] The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson's estate [00:39.26] But I'm too high, I never land [00:40.94] A river that knows its source could never run dry [00:43.26] That's why I had to cut out the middle man [00:45.21] Hate from all directions assassinatin' my character [00:48.16] I felt like Malcom X in J. Edgar Hoover's America [00:50.98] I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it [00:53.86] I got on my knees and criеd to the Lord, I prayed for it [00:56.75] I had bounties on my hеad when my sister was in my home [00:59.63] Sleepless nights by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome [01:02.54] Contemplatin' self-destruction, equatin' myself to nothin' [01:05.21] Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button [01:08.39] I collapsed in my depression, I just couldn't write for nothin' [01:10.74] When I stared at my reflection, all that I felt was disgusted [01:14.29] My confidence evaporated, less than a man, I was emasculated [01:18.13] I turned to violence to be validated [01:19.98] Violated probation again and again [01:22.81] My kin and my friends like, "What the fuck is up with you, fam? [01:25.76] Don't you understand? Niggas wanna fuck with you, fam [01:28.55] But you keep fuckin' yourself and that fucks with your fans" [01:32.06] Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie, [01:33.42] I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) [01:37.75] The pain behind your eyes tells me that [01:39.33] That's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) [01:43.32] And it's hard to explain to the people [01:45.04] Standin' still while you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) [01:49.20] I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin' [01:54.70] I called a 51-50 on myself [01:58.31] That's how you know I need help [02:00.52] I called a 51-50 on myself [02:04.33] That's how you know I need (Help) [02:06.09] Do you know what the fuck it feels like to wake up every day in distress? [02:09.78] Pissed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess [02:12.57] And people depend on you, got so much shit on your chest [02:15.46] That your train of thought can't seem to find a way to express [02:18.30] I find a notebook in my parents' crib from when I was five [02:21.33] I went inside and said "I hate myself, I wanna die," I cried [02:24.64] I couldn't even fathom a child feeling so lonely [02:27.47] So next time a nigga tell you 'bout Vic, say they don't know me [02:30.49] I need to be loved, I need to be loved [02:32.38] I needed the drugs 'cause I couldn't do it [02:34.20] I couldn't do it, I was goin' through it [02:36.29] Growin' up, I was a product of my biracial confusion [02:39.16] Neither Black nor White, I guess that made me translucent [02:42.04] I crushed everything I touched [02:43.49] I fucked every single slut, I couldn't bust [02:45.59] It was a knot in my stomach [02:46.73] I plummet into my dungeon [02:48.20] Down in the depths of my darkness [02:49.76] I'm steppin' over my carcass [02:51.19] I'm comin' out of my hatred [02:52.67] Tired of my heart bein' vacant [02:54.29] I made a promise, won't break it [02:55.64] I told my mama, "We'll make it" [02:57.10] I told my gang, "We gon' make it" [02:58.61] They won't give it to us, we'll take it [02:59.99] One thing that is true is my greatness [03:01.41] Promise I won't doubt, I'll believe it [03:02.92] I'm exercisin' my demons, for the last time [03:05.60] Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie, [03:07.73] I kept it too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) [03:11.45] The pain behind your eyes tells me that [03:12.90] That's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) [03:17.02] And it's hard to explain to the people [03:19.12] Standin' still while you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh) [03:22.75] I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin' [03:28.82] But pardon me, my nigga, isn't this the life you said that you wanted? [03:34.36] You know the car's movin' fast, [03:35.90] What a view, and the women are stunnin' [03:40.49] And it's hard when you're comin' [03:41.35] From the bottom, tryin' not to become it [03:46.28] So I'm runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin' [03:50.89] Comin', yeah [03:52.65]