Currents - Never There

I thought of reaching out, we could take this slow Hesitation turned to habit, never made the call No branch to break my fall I'd have so much to tell you, but I Drink 'til I can't blink And I fill my brain with holes My voice is worse for wear Because I lost my self-control, I've lost my hope (I've lost my hope) Now I don't wanna say I'm scared 'Cause I don't want you to think That this life I slave away for Is what brings an end to me But now I'm walking through my life with a clenched up fist Holding back the tears and feelings that I never spent I try to find a purpose or a path to set But I've only found the void, and so I Drink 'til I can't blink And I fill my brain with holes Because the place that I feel safest It was never there, never there at all